If You're Wondering
by marsh king's daughter
Summary: it all starts with a simple question..."who would wear the dress?" riku x sora. yaoi. oneshot


**Disclaimer:** I own a guitar, a laptop, and a fluffy, fluffy kitty cat, and frankly, that's all I need.

**Warnings:**Flamboyant gays.

…which is only like, the best kind.

oOoOo

if you're wondering

oOoOo

It all starts innocently enough, with Sora clearly being under the impression that any seven-year-old who knows how to properly disinfect and bandage a scraped knee is destined for the field of medicine.

"You should be a doctor, Ri-ku," he hums contentedly, gaze flickering back and forth between his newly acquired band-aid and his silver-haired friend with something akin to awe.

Riku shoots him a dubious look and then returns to staring moodily at the rather lopsided sand castle Kairi is attempting to build, which truthfully shares a closer resemblance to a mountain than a castle.

"I'll bet," Sora continues in an airy proclamation, sounding thoroughly convinced himself, "that you'd be the bestest doctor _ever_."

The other boy just scowls in irritation ('Perhaps', Sora thinks, 'because his sea-salt ice cream is dripping all over his fingers.') while Kairi momentarily pauses the rapid action of her shovel to inform the brunet very matter-of-factly that "bestest" is not a word.

Puzzlement briefly flashes across the boy's features until he silently notes that he'll have to teach Kairi the grammatical basics of the English language at a later date. Out loud, he simply inquires, "What are you gonna be when you grow up, Kai?"

The redhead smiles lightly, and then whips her head around, making sure to cover a full three-hundred-and-sixty degrees despite the clear fact that they're alone on the island. Then she leans in, effectively upsetting a good half of her sand mountain in the process, and announces in a stage whisper, "I'm gonna be a_bride_."

The reaction she gets is a rather blank stare from Sora and a generally disinterested look from Riku. Apparently this wasn't what she was going for, as she adds with a dramatic hair flip, very obviously intended to show off the fake plastic diamond resting on the wrong finger of the wrong hand, "Tidus said he'll marry me when we get older."

Riku still looks bored and simply shoves his ice cream back in his mouth, but this time Sora beams, exclaiming, "That's great, Kairi!"

The girl nods knowingly, and is just about to open her mouth to chatter on about how it's going to be at sunset on the beach, and who the guest list will include, and what her dress is going to look like, when Sora abruptly latches on to his silver-haired friend's arm, chirping unabashedly, "If you're gonna be Tidus's bride, then I'll be Riku's!"

There's a moment where the only noise is something that sounds suspiciously like Riku choking on his popsicle stick, before Kairi lets loose a quiet giggle, cheeks tinged slightly pink as she asserts, "But boys can't marry other boys, silly!"

The brunet's face falls as Riku jerks his arm away to remove the popsicle, face beet red, and Kairi pats Sora sympathetically on the shoulder, already experienced with the difficulties of finding a prospective husband. (After all, it had taken her a full six days since she decided that she would be a bride to find one of her own.)

"But…why not?" he asks meekly, looking at Riku with something that could easily be mistaken for longing (but Kairi is sure that it must because he wishes he had some sea-salt ice cream of his own), and the redhead falters for a moment, wracking her brain for an answer.

And what she ultimately comes up with is, "Well…who would wear the dress?"

oOoOo

By age ten, despite the fact that no one has given him a reason better than Kairi's, Sora has come to terms with the fact that two boys falling in love is just…well…_strange._

It doesn't matter that Riku is the only one who enjoys wrestling with him and the only one who comes along whenever Sora is newly convinced that there must be treasure buried _somewhere_, since they do live on an island and all. And it also doesn't matter that all of the girls in his class only like to gossip and poke at his hair and shriek or wrinkle their noses in disgust whenever a particularly interesting bug makes its way into the classroom. Nor does it matter that Riku is stronger and faster and smarter than any girl Sora has met in his entire life.

And it _certainly_ doesn't matter that the funny, fluttery feeling in the pit of his stomach only happens when Riku's around, because that's just the way best friends are. After all, who else would make you so warm and comfortable and tingly all over?

oOoOo

At thirteen, Sora is curious. Curious about girls and kissing, lust and love.

But most of all, he's curious about Riku.

Riku, whose voice is low and warm, unlike Sora's which seems to crack and squeak sporadically. Riku, who towers at six feet tall and is considered drastically handsome by every girl in the school. Riku, who makes it hard to speak properly and hard to think clearly and hard to even _breathe _whenever he leans in close and says his name.

"Sora."

The brunet blinks, automatically tensing as Riku hovers over him, trapping him against the mattress and looking at him quizzically.

The butterflies are pounding desperately against the walls of Sora's stomach, and at thirteen, he's beginning to wonder if this is the way best friends are really supposed to feel.

"Have you been listening to me at all?"

Sora feels himself mouth the word "yes" rather than hears it, because his attention is captured with the other boy's lips, which are chapped from the previous hour spent in the ocean.

He wonders about kissing Riku. Wonders what it would be like to have those rough lips attack his own, sucking and licking and nipping, the taste of sea-salt on their tongues.

He thinks there must be something wrong with him.

oOoOo

He's not at all surprised when Riku gets a girlfriend.

They're the picture-perfect couple, everyone agrees, and it had really only been a matter of time. A matter of time before everything came crashing down and Sora realized just how much he had fallen in love.

He's fifteen when he decides he really doesn't give a fuck if _anyone_wears the dress.

oOoOo

The dreams start at sixteen.

They're nothing much at first, just innocent touches and gentle kisses on the lips, but they soon evolve to much more, hands roaming shamelessly over sweaty skin, bodies pressing together in desire of any inch of contact possible, openmouthed kisses and relentless thrusts and moans of pleasure and pain all blurring together until one last eruption of bliss before everything fades away with a softly murmured "I love you".

They always end with "I love you".

oOoOo

He's seventeen when he's had enough.

With no regard for consequences or regret or the fact that shoving your tongue down your best friend's throat probably requires _some_ sort of pretense, Sora takes the plunge.

And Riku really doesn't seem to mind.

It's clumsy and awkward, their teeth constantly knocking together while Sora has never been so unsure of where to put his hands, and Riku is constantly pulling away just a bit to laugh breathily against his skin, but at the same time, it's decidedly perfect.

That is, until they break apart panting and half-naked to meet the gaping stare of Wakka, who promptly drops his blitzball on his foot.

oOoOo

_It ends with "I love you"._

oOoOo

**Author's Notes: **This was going to be longer, until my perpetually hovering writer's block decided to drop in, but I figure it's the kind of thing where it doesn't really matter if it's rushed.

And I AM working on my regular stories, I SWEAR. They've actually been sitting here half-written for like a month gathering mold. Or at least they would be if computer files could get moldy. But yeah. They're coming.

-Emmy

Review? ;D


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